Defending Drowning Mona

July 3, 2023

Drowning Mona is a largely forgotten comedy crime film from the year 2000. It was poorly received by critics at the time and bombed with audiences as well. Most lambasted it as overly quirky and dry. The consensus was that its offbeatness was just off. Personally, I have always had a soft spot for it. Even all the way back then. Then again, my sense of humor tends to be downright Saharan. I rewatched it after something like eighteen years recently and was surprised at how much of it I remembered. I think the offbeat quirkiness of it wasn't something that really caught on until a few years later. It's an underrated gem in my opinion and worth reevaluation. We’ll open with a quick refresher, investigate why it was so hated, and then clear its name with what makes it work.

US theatrical poster. [Destination Films. 2000]

For those who are unfamiliar or have put it out of your minds, the movie is a whodunnit revolving around the death of Verplank, New York resident Mona Dearly (Bette Milder). Mona dies in a car accident when her brakes fail, sending her car into the Hudson River. Local police chief Wyatt Rash (Danny DeVito) suspects foul play when he notices a lack of skid marks on the road. What becomes quickly apparent is that Mona was a terrible person, hated by everybody (with good cause), and just about everyone in town is a suspect. Her husband, Phil (William Fichtner), and son Jeph (Marcus Thomas), were both physically and emotionally abused by her. She constantly bullied Jeph’s business partner Bobby Calzone (Casey Affleck). Local waitress Rona (Jamie Lee Curtis) was having an affair with Phil. And she’d had a violent or unpleasant encounter with everyone else. Even the cops, save the chief, seem willing to write it off as a case of “Ding dong the witch is dead.” Hilarity ensues.

The Dearly family (left to right) Phil (William Fichtner), Mona (Bette Milder), and Jeph (Marcus Thomas). [Destination Films. 200]

Okay, well, not so much “hilarity.” At least not in the slapping your knee while struggling to breathe sense. It’s dry. Really dry. It’s offbeat, quirky, and dark. And, to hear it from turn-of-the-century critics and audiences, off-puttingly so. Hell, occasionally it’s downright mean-spirited. Its Rotten Tomato consensus currently reads: 

“A whodunnit that stacks its lists of suspects with wasted character actors, Drowning Mona is a twee farce that will prompt audiences to tune out before the mystery is solved.”

It sits at 28% from critics and 46% from audiences. Brutal. Both audiences and critics echo the sentiment that it is “boring” and “unfunny.” “Too dark” comes up a few times when digging through both professional and audience reviews. Obviously, humor is the single most subjective of the abstract concepts, and I would never be so crass as to argue that Drowning Mona (or anything for that matter) is for everybody. It's pretty damn niche. And this was exponentially true nearly a quarter of a century ago. If you take a look at the top-grossing comedies of 2000 the top 4 include (in order):

1. Meet the Parents - $161,325,490

2. Scary Movie - $151,019,771

3. Nutty Professor II: The Klumps - $123,307,945

4. Big Momma’s House - $117,559,438

(source: https://www.the-numbers.com/market/2000/genre/Comedy)

Nothing after that comes close to cracking nine figures. #5 was The Kid, the Disney movie with Bruce Wliis, which raked in just below $70 mil, on its heels was Road Trip. Crass and cringe were the name of the game back then. Hell, two of them involve fat suits and cross-dressing. Drowning Mona sits at #24 with $15,247,192. Just below the similarly quirky but better-received (critically) Best in Show. But, from a box office standpoint, quirk or “twee” wasn’t selling then. But it was just around the corner. In some ways, Drowning Mona was simply ahead of its time.

In 2000 quirk was very niche. Quirk, of course, by its very nature, lends itself to nicheness. So much so that the line borders on synonymity. This was even more true at the turn of the century. Sure there were quirky movies in the 60s and 70s. But quirk was definitely not in vogue in the late 90s and 2000 like it was in the years that followed. So let’s call this “neo-quirk”. By 2000, Wes Anderson only had two movies under his belt. 1998’s Rushmore was quirky, sure, but Anderson was still a year out from fully finding his voice in 2001’s The Royal Tenenbaums. I would argue that the rise of neo-quirk hit with Napoleon Dynamite in 2004. Napoleon Dynamite started as a bit of a cult movie. I remember being one of very few people in the theater and my friends and I were the only ones laughing. Of course, once it hit DVD its popularity exploded. People everywhere quoted it ad nauseam. You could buy T-shirts with quotes and characters on them at the mall. Hardly a day would go by that you didn’t see someone in a “Vote for Pedro” t-shirt. Both are offbeat, (arguably) slow-moving films, with an eccentric ensemble cast of quirky characters. Mean Girls, also in 2004, is a quirk-fest (penned by Tina Fey), and actually cracked the top five that year. Although it did have a bigger budget than Drowning Mona or Napoleon Dynamite, which were relatively low-budget indies.

Napoleon Dynamtie’s core teens (left to right), Pedro (Efren Ramirez), Napoleon (Jon Heder), Deb (Tina Majorino). [MTV Films. Searchlight. 2004]

Granted, similarly quirky movies of the very late 90s and 2000 were better received critically (Best in Show is a better movie than Drowning Mona), I still think both of these movies were ahead of their time. Offbeat was still, for many, off-putting. But in recent years this is what has driven some of the most popular television shows. Mind you a lot more are taking notes from Christopher Guest’s Best in Show. The Office, Parks and Rec, and Modern Family all cribbed the whole mockumentary approach. Which is a great framing device for a story that allows the audience to encounter a wide variety of colorful characters. As does a murder mystery. Both genres involve interviewing a wide variety of people, giving the respective actors an opportunity to create off-the-wall personas

So, other movies were doing quirk, some doing it better, but there is one thing that Drowning Mona does that other quirky films weren’t doing then. Despite its soft-bright color palette, the movie is actually pretty dark. It is a murder mystery, after all. And the victim in question was an abusive alcoholic. And even with movies like Best in Show and Napoleon Dynamite whose characters are all eccentric weirdos, they’re at least endearingly eccentric weirdos. Most of the characters are pretty reprehensible, actually. Even Bobby (Affleck), who really does seem like a put-upon nice guy, does get insufferably spineless and whiny. Affleck pulls it off far too well. But I would say that’s part of what makes the movie work. And the actors don’t disappoint. Jeph is every guy you’re glad you stopped talking to after high school. Just a lazy, drunken scumbag. Thompson nails it. If Fichtner wasn’t so great at playing an asshole, watching Phil get cracked upside the head with a cast iron skillet by his drunk wife in a flashback, his line immediately after about being a battered husband, wouldn’t be as funny.

Bette Midler as Mona Dearly managing to deliver the line “You’ve been playing Wheel of Fortune with somebody else, haven’t cha?” with a straight face. [Destination Films. 2000]

Speaking of the flashbacks, this is Bette Milder at her most unhinged. She goes all in as Mona Dearly. Her performance is over-the-top and out-of-the-park. You really get why half of this town wanted her dead, and why most of the police force are willing to just let it slide. Although in a flashback to a knife-throwing contest, Midler is able to briefly bring just the slightest bit of pathos to Mona. Her heartbreak at losing is very real, but also in line with the sociopathic narcissism she displays throughout. She’s able to walk this line of making you feel pity, without making you feel bad for her. Which, by definition, is seemingly a contradiction. But pity can also elicit disgust, and she crushes it. And those used to seeing Danny DeVito as Frank in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia know that he’s no stranger to black comedy, but will be shocked to see him play the straight man.

DeVito as Frank in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. FX

As for its humor, yeah, that martini might be a little dry for some palettes. It’s an acquired taste, and one that even fewer had acquired in the year 2000 (I might be showing my age, but I hear that old Conan O’Brien bit every time I type that). Phil is consistently into playing the Wheel of Fortune home version as a means of foreplay, for example. The very fact that every single car in town, with the exception of landscaping pickups and a tow truck, are Yugos is a hilarious production design choice. Funnier that it’s based on the fact that in 1985, the Zastava automotive company did, in fact, test market its ill-fated car in rural New York. Jeph’s malapropisms, Will Ferrall’s cameo as Cubby, a mortician/erotic photographer. There’s even a bizarre little nod to Rashomon as Jeph and Bobby give two wildly different accounts of the same argument Bobby had with the Dearly family. Both accounts differ in who was the one who killed a dog with a lawn mower and whether or not Bobby said (to Jeph) “You tore my overalls” or “I’ll tear out your ovaries.” To which a confused Chief Rash says “He said…’ovaries’?” “Oh, yeah. All the time,” replies Jeph. It’s all very weird and none of it laugh-out-loud. Some of it is even funnier later. Some of it is only funny later. It’s kinda hard to explain. It’s either your sense of humor or it’s not, but, I would argue that more people have that sense of humor now than they did nearly a quarter of a century ago. Jesus. What did I put it that way for?

Mona “borrowing” Jeph’s Yugo. [Destination Films. 2000]

That said, given that quirky movies like Napoleon Dynamite, Juno, Little Miss Sunshine, etc, followed in the years after to more accolades, I’d say the Drowning Mona deserves a reevaluation. In fact, if you look at reviews on Rotten Tomatoes from the last couple of years, they are far more favorable. At the very least, it deserves cult status. But then again, I was one of the dark, twisted, offbeat weirdos that actually liked it when it came out.

Also, I had a pretty big crush on Neve Campbell.

Didn’t everybody? [Destination Films. 2000]

Punk Rock Reading List (Fiction): 10 Punk Novels to Load Into Your Lit Canon

April 4, 2023

The punk rock literary canon is extensive. However, the largest chunk of punk lit finds itself on the non-fiction shelf. Dozens of biographies, memoirs, essay collections, and oral histories have been released over the years. A few even take a prose-like approach that makes them indistinguishable from a novel, and a lot of them are damn good reads.

There are, however, stories centered around punk culture birthed entirely from the imaginations of their authors. Here is a list of ten punk-centric novels that I’ve read and enjoyed. This is in no particular order because who the hell am I to tell you that? Any article that says crap like “Top 10 Punk Rock Novels RANKED” (“ranked” is always in all caps) is pure clickbait and, more than likely, totally arbitrary. It’s doubtful they’re working from a point system based on a rubric of pre-specified criteria when determining the order. This is not a “Top 10” and is by no means exhaustive. I read these. I liked them. You might too. Simple as that.

That said, most people just skip these intros and go straight to the list anyway. So, without further ado…

Hairstyles of the Damned by Joe Meno (Punk Planet/Akashic Books, 2004)

Set during the mid-90s punk revival, Joe Meno’s novel follows Brian Oswald, a misfit attending a Catholic high school on Chicago’s south side. Specifically, in and around Mt. Greenwood. The book is full of relatable growing pains. As is typical of bildungsroman, we follow Brian as he attempts to build and maintain his identity. He starts off as a bit of a geek before his friend Gretchen (with whom he is very much in love) introduces him to the punk scene. After a falling out with Gretchen, he tries being a stoner and skateboarder and eventually drifts back to being a punk. Brian’s not the only one experiencing growing pains either. The same can be said of his community and its simmering racial tensions as the demographics of the neighborhood start to shift. Beginning with the microcosm of students disagreeing on themes and music for the school dance, it eventually grows into something more violent and sinister.

This is an especially interesting read if you’re from Chicago or its suburbs. The use of real locations provides a whole extra level of appreciation for those in the know. A number of scenes are set at Haunted Trails (a family fun center in suburban Burbank, IL) and there’s even a reference to Off the Alley, a small music venue that was in Homewood, IL up until the late 90s/early 2000s. 

Brian has a narrative voice that will inevitably draw comparisons to Holden Caulfield. But to his credit, Brian’s got his own distinctions. He has that cynical shell hiding a heart, for sure. But Brian seems to have a stronger sense of honesty than Holden. Unlike Holden, Brian does seem to legitimately care about more people. He’s less detached. Less self-righteous. Although, one thing more sensitive readers may want to keep in mind is that Brian is a teenage boy in the mid-90s and he talks like a teenage boy in the mid-90s. Which, though it rings authentic, is less “PC” by the standards of 2023. I don’t mean that as a gripe on Brian’s choice of words or how “people have gotten too sensitive these days.” Brian is a teenage boy from the mid-90s, he should talk like a teenage boy from the mid-90s. It’s just something to keep in mind going in.

Fat Kid Rules the World by KL Going (Penguin, 2004)

2004 saw another punk-centric YA novel released into the wild. Fat Kid… was even turned into a movie directed by Matthew Lillard (who himself starred in the movie SLC Punk). Author K.L. Going sticks us in the head of Troy Billings. Being 6’1” and just shy of 300 pounds allows for a pretty sizable target to be painted on Troy’s back. Plagued by bullies, health issues, and relentless suicidal ideation, Troy is about ready to step in front of a New York subway, when he’s saved (through some room reading distraction) by Curt MacCrae, a gutter punk, musician, and a drop-out from Troy’s high school. 

Curt takes Troy under his wing and encourages him to become a drummer in his new punk band. Thing of it is, Troy’s never touched a drum kit in his life. He does, however, take to it and gets active in the scene, which provides him with a sense of purpose and belonging and all the confidence that comes with it. All of which had previously eluded him. However, when Curt’s own demons and addictions start to show themselves, Troy is in a position to return Curt the favor of saving his life. Though it follows a fairly common theme in punk fiction of discovering punk and it “saving one’s life”, it has heart to spare and the bond that the two main characters form is genuinely moving.

American Skin by Don De Grazia (Simon & Schuster, 1998)

Another Chicago-centered novel, Don De Grazia’s American Skin is more punk-adjacent than punk-centered.  As you might figure from the title, the novel is about skinheads. Although, the protagonists are of the anti-racist variety and are at war with a local group of racist skinheads. So not punks specifically, there’s a lot of overlap in the music and culture and the attitude of the narrative definitely lives in that overlapping space. 

When Alex Verdi’s hippy parents are arrested for having a pot farm, Alex goes on the run and winds up in Chicago. There he befriends a group of anti-racist skinheads who help him find a place to stay: a nightclub called The Gorgon (a clear homage to the early Chicago punk club Medusa’s). The charismatic leader of a local Nazi skinhead gang keeps attempting to recruit him, but Alex’s found family helps stave off the dark side. Alex falls in love (twice), receives lectures on the history of skinhead culture, gets caught up in a race war, goes to college, the army, and, for a short time, jail.  

While reading this book, I go back and forth between liking Alex and finding him to be an insufferable douchebag. He is, at times, a sensitive and thoughtful dude, but he also does absorb some of the eye-rolling machismo present among skinheads, soldiers, and convicts. Especially when he goes through his basic college-age white dude fascination with Ayn Rand. Even though he's not always likable, he is, for the most part, interesting. Human beings are dichotomies, to be sure. Part of what adds to the book’s drama and appeal, in my opinion, is that you’re never fully sure how you feel about the narrator. Still, you want to find out what happens to him next, and which of his flaws he’ll manage to overcome.

Born to Rock by Gordon Korman (Little Brown, 2006)

Korman’s protagonist Leo Carraway breaks from punk fiction tradition by being perhaps the least “punk rock” character of all time. He’s the head of his high school’s Young Republicans Club, already has an investment portfolio, and a full-ride scholarship to Harvard. Which isn’t to say he’s a bad dude. Just that, by counter-culture standards, he’s an absolute tool. 

Because we live in a world where no good deed goes unpunished, Leo gets accused of cheating after helping someone with an assignment. The accusation and resulting scandal are enough to lose Leo his scholarship to Harvard. But not his acceptance. Leo does, however, discover that his mother, in her younger and wilder years, was a groupie for the still popular punk rock band Purge. There is reason to believe that the frontman, King Maggot, is his biological father. Leo decides to spend his summer working as a roadie for Purge, hoping to guilt Maggot into paying his tuition. Hijinks and drama, inevitably, ensue.

Leo being the Harvard-bound Young Republican type doesn’t necessarily work against him here, however. Tossing a guy as clean-cut and buttoned-down as Leo into the world of punk rock makes him an outsider among outsiders. He works as a surrogate for readers who aren’t fully familiar with that world, and they learn as he learns. Readers familiar with that world will get a kick out of watching him learn. Though, for me, the most fascinating character is King Maggot. His down-to-earth demeanor seemingly contradicts his rage-spewing on-stage persona. Before each show, Maggot goes into an anti-Zen meditative state in which he focuses on everything that makes him angry in order to get into the mindset he needs to perform. As someone who has fronted punk bands before, I think about and relate to this a great deal. When you’re on stage, you almost become someone else. Sort of like what Henry Rollins once said of Iggy Pop. “There’s two guys. There’s Jim. Jim Osterberg. And then there’s Iggy Pop.”

Born to Rock, like a couple of other entities on this list, falls into the YA category. Which, like with the others here, should not be held against it. There are a lot of great YA out there that do not involve trilogies or multi-part epics about chosen ones and teenagers leading rebellions against some sort of dystopian leadership. There is down-to-earth, everyday life YA as well. Born to Rock fits into this latter category. It’s just a fun breezy self-contained story.

Scraper: A Novel About Punk by James Gilberd (2015)

This novel earns some punk points because I’m pretty certain it was self-published. So it’s got the whole DIY ethos thing going for it. Probably. It also, for me, was one of the more “educational” in the sense that it focuses on a part of the world I didn’t know anything about at the time. 

Set in New Zealand in 1981, Scraper revolves around Steve, a teenage punk who forms the eponymous band Scraper. Another punk rock bildungsroman, Gilberd’s novel follows Steve through his various dramas and run-ins within his community. Not being a Kiwi myself, it did take me a little bit to catch on to the fact it was set in New Zealand, as I’m less familiar with locations and history. The real crux of the novel’s drama revolves around the controversy surrounding the Springbok rugby tour in 1981. The Springboks are the rugby team from South Africa, which in ‘81 was still under apartheid. So, when their tour included a stop in New Zealand against the All Blacks (New Zealand’s rugby team), some controversy was sure to follow. Steve’s community, punk scene, family, and, hell, country are divided over the upcoming match. Some protest, calling for a boycott of the game. Others couldn’t give a toss and are angered that their favorite form of escapism is being politicized. And, of course, there are those who are just outright racist about the whole thing. Despite coming out a year before the Colin Kaepernick kneeling dispute, and the actual events it’s based on happening thirty-four years prior, parallels can easily be drawn. 

Steve is forced to take a stance and uses his band to speak out against apartheid and the Springbok tour. This, in turn, puts him at odds with his father, a dyed-in-the-wool All Blacks fan. Part of growing up for many people is reaching a point where they find their own principles conflicting with those of their parents. Steve takes us on his own version of this human struggle to develop identity, all the while chowing down on fish and chips and expressing that angst through his music.

Hongdae Fire by J.A. Dunbar (bROKe Publishng, 2020)

Hongdae Fire is near and dear to my heart because it is set in the punk scene in South Korea, which I was part of from 2013-2018. Mind you this book is set a good decade or so before I was part of it, it was still interesting to me because I could perfectly picture some of the locations. I also kept trying to guess if characters or bands were based on anyone I knew personally. Hongdae Fire digs into contemporary issues that clearly mean a great deal to author J.A. Dunbar, a journalist and long-time Seoul resident. Including gentrification and pseudo-Christian religious cults.

Set in Hongdae, a gentrifying arts neighborhood in Seoul, the opening chapters see a fire in a punk club wipe out all but a handful of members in the Seoul punk scene. Various details of the fire raise immediate red flags and Journalist Woo Yoo-kung begins to suspect foul play. Yoo-kung, herself a punk, had narrowly avoided the tragedy herself. Her survivor's guilt catalyzes a quest to uncover the truth and get justice for her found family. As it is with most noir-ish mystery stories, everything goes much deeper (or rather much higher) than it seems at first. Standing between her and the truth are cops, firemen, a cult, landlords, property development companies, and government officials. Luckily she’s got the surviving punk community and her brother, on leave from his compulsory military conscription, on her side.

 It’s a fun, well-paced read, and the characters are layered, charming, and will change how you think about Donald Duck. Yook-young herself subverts just about every aspect of an “ideal” Korean woman, and reminds me, more than a little, of a few people I know. Korean culture is on fire these days, and it’s cool to see something that antithesizes K-Pop and digs into Korean counter-culture. Which is, and again I say this from experience, amazing.

F.T.W.: Rise of the Anarchy March by Russ Lippit (Ravenhawk Books, 2020)

In Russ Lippit’s bleak post-apocalyptic nightmare “F.T.W.” does not stand for “For The Win.” Yeah. You got it. The abbreviated title definitely sets the cynical tone. Unlike a lot of other punk fiction, this breaks out of the “becoming punk” trope. It’s straight-up genre fiction that’s centered around characters who happen to be punks. If you’re a fan of the Fallout video game franchise, this is pretty damn close to a Fallout novel. But, like, if Henry Rollins were playing a run-through. 

F.T.W. is set in a post-apocalyptic America that has been divided into zones. Each zone has its own culture, status, and leadership, but the country is still largely overseen by an oppressive government called the Prominent Municipality. Which, with respect to Lippitt, is one of the most hysterically satirical names for an oppressive regime that I’ve come across. A group, called the Anarchy March, is attempting to overthrow said government. It’s, overall, pretty typical post-apocalypse fair on its surface. But it moves at a brisk pace and no one has plot armor. Lippit knows when to shift perspectives too. Which is almost always with a cliffhanger. You'll keep turning pages to see if the characters are okay or really have met a horrendously violent end.

The story follows Doyle and his small Anarchy March unit which includes both his fiancee, Darla, and best friend, Jack as they traverse the various zones of the former west coast with information and weapons that could turn the tide of the war. Naturally, this puts them in the crosshairs of a cartoonishly sadistic General who always seems to be casting a shadow over every fresh footprint they leave. The group gets split up and their attempts to reunite are met with tragedy, betrayal, and ultra-violence. Heads get shot, flesh gets melted, and Lippitt spares no detail in describing it. It’s just over the top enough to keep it from being disturbing. Although, it’s still very much capable of breaking your heart.

It’s bleak, yet not utterly hopeless, but like any good post-apocalyptic genre fiction you gotta dig through some rubble to find it. I’ll put it this way: Had Harlan Ellison been really into Youth Brigade, he might have churned out something like F.T.W.

Punk Rock Jesus by Sean Murphy (Vertigo, 2013)

Sean Murphy's Punk Rock Jesus distinguishes itself from the other entries on this list by being a graphic novel. This wonderfully cynical satire has a premise so absolutely bonkers that it's incredibly believable. Jesus is cloned from blood samples taken from the Shroud of Turin and placed in a surrogate mother. Once he is born the clone of Christ, who everyone calls "Chris", is raised on a reality show and broadcast worldwide. He finds a father figure in his bodyguard, a former member of the IRA. After tragic events involving his mother, "Chris" begins to rebel and digs into his bodyguard's punk rock record collection, studies science, and openly rejects his faith. To the horror and awe of Christians the world over he begins a new life as a frontman for the Flak Jackets,  the world's last remaining punk band. Obviously, this ultimately draws the ire of world and religious leadership.

Murphy’s hyperkinetic art style suits the story’s energetic and dark tone. Its rough, sketchy edges bring to mind fliers for punk rock shows.  Neither religion or the media comes out of this story looking good. And nor should they, in my opinion. The satire is savage, shocking, and heartbreaking. 

Hard Core Logo by Michael Turner (Arsenal Pulp Press, 1992)

Another book on this list to get the movie adaptation treatment is Hard Core Logo.  The book is an epistolary novel. Meaning it is told through a series of documents, interview transcripts, letters, and journal entries. Appropriately, the 1996 Canadian film adaptation from director Bruce MacDonald and screenwriter Noel S. Baker (and distributed in the US by Quentin Tarantino) takes the form of a mockumentary.

Both the novel and film follow seminal punk band, Hard Core Logo, on an ill-fated reunion tour through Canada. Frontman Joe Dick coaxes his estranged bandmates to briefly reunite for one last shot.  He even manages to guilt his long-time best friend and guitar player Billy Tallent into agreeing. Billy, unlike the rest of the band, has been doing well for himself and has a chance at the big time without Joe’s help. Of course, past resentments start to resurface and boil over. 

Hard Core Logo’s unique format allows us into multiple points of view. Unlike most entries on this list, which use first-person or third-person limited points of view, we’re allowed inside the heads of multiple people. Although the axis of the drama is Joe and Billy.  Like a lot of epistolary novels, the reader does have to piece some stuff together on their own. It almost feels like you’re on a jury or a detective being presented with evidence and coming to your own conclusions based on the information given to you.

When the movie came out, they actually recorded music by the band and even went so far as to record a tribute album by various punk bands. It’s hard to dig up, but it’s worth it. And yes, the Canadian punk band Billy Tallent takes their name from the character in the book.

This Rancid Mill by Kyle Decker (PM Press, 2023)

Yes. This is shameless self-promotion. I will admit it. Freely.  But then again, that’s why a lot of articles like this one are written in the first place. 

This Rancid Mill by Kyle Decker (ie: me) is a hardboiled detective novel in the tradition of Raymond Chandler but set in the midst of LA’s shifting punk scene during the early summer of 1981. Alex Damage eschews traditional economics by offering “favors for favors.” Although he accepts money when people can pay, his services as an unlicensed private eye for punk kids are largely paid back through appreciation for the services rendered in the form of free drinks and food. When the singer of Bad Chemicals, one of his favorite local bands, winds up dead, Alex is hired by the dead man’s girlfriend to look into possible foul play. His mission inevitably puts him in the crosshairs of the singer’s many enemies. The further Alex digs into the late singer’s unsavory secret life, the more Alex begins to question if the man even deserves justice. And causes Alex to reexamine some of his old attitudes and behavior.

This Rancid Mill draws from the post-#MeToo zeitgeist. The realization that people we’ve looked up to are capable of disgusting behavior has invited, or should invite, a great deal of reflection. Not just about the flawed nature of celebrity worship, but also about ourselves. There isn’t a man alive who hasn’t done something to make a woman uncomfortable at some point in their life. What have I done? What can I do better? How can I do better? These are all questions we should ask ourselves. Alex’s story asks its readers to take on those same reflections.

I worked on this book for a long time. The research involved reading a bunch of the non-fiction books I alluded to in the introduction you probably skipped over and watching countless documentaries, and even digging up some collected editions of old ‘zines. That said, the narrative voice, the dialogue, the pacing, and especially the characters are all very important to me. So I hope you enjoy spending time with all my imaginary friends.

Oh, and like Hard Core Logo, Bad Chemicals has some real music floating around out there in the form of a five-track E.P.

Honorable Mention: An American Demon by Jack Grisham (ECW Press, 2011)

An American Demon gets an honorable mention here because it’s branded as a novel but also doubles as a memoir, which technically disqualifies it.  It draws very heavily on Grisham’s life, childhood, and time fronting T.S.O.L. It’s honest and brutal, and he does not allow himself any grace when describing his horrendous past behavior, some real, some (hopefully) exaggerated, and some outright fictional. Grisham keeps in the tradition of Hunter S. Thompson by blurring fact and fiction to the extent you aren’t sure which is real, embellished, or totally fake.  It is, ultimately, a story of redemption and reflection. Grisham inserts some supernatural and religious elements into the narrative as well, which is what makes it technically a novel. But given that it is largely a memoir, it remains off the main list. 

Although one might share Dave Eggers’s philosophy that memoir is closer to fiction than nonfiction because memory is subjective and unreliable. With that in mind, it’s still worth an honorable mention.

Top 5 Songs From 2020

April 16, 2021

Yes. I’m super late on this. This is the type of article that usually comes out in January. Or should anyway. Most peeps tend to jump the gun and put these articles out as early as November of the year they’re ranking songs from. And it’s like, “Did you even have time to really absorb the music? What about the stuff that came out in late December. But, yeah, even given that, April is ridiculous. Still, it has allowed me to consider what songs of 2020 have at least a few months of stay power. So here are my own personal Top 5.

No. 5.  “What Are We Standing For?” by Bad Religion

Yeah, Bad Religion is a bunch of old white dudes. And yes, they’ve been doing the punk rock thing since 1979, long after most people should have “grown out of it.” But, they’ve been consistently doing it. For decades they’ve established themselves as “the thinking man’s punk band,” with highly intelligent lyrics that are equally deep in both the political and philosophical departments. Punk rockers have a certain stereotype of being angry, aggressive, and not-to-bright. However, the guitar player is a savvy businessman who has been running a successful independent record label since the 1980s and the singer has a PhD in evolutionary biology from Cornell.  

“What Are We Standing For?” was technically recorded last year as part of 2019’s Age of Unreason album. However, this song was an out-take and left off the album, only releasing in October of 2020. Like the album whose cutting room floor it was left on, “What Are We Standing For?” is very much about current US politics. Basically, they don’t like Trump or the culture that allowed him to get elected. The song’s lyrics perfectly describe Secular Humanist philosophy and ask the listener to understand and support those who are struggling, because this life might be all we have. The song even ends with a reference to Colin Kaepernick taking a knee.

The song sounds very much like an older, classic Bad Religion song. It’s heavy, it’s fast, and the vocals are raspy and deep and use a lot of big words to express big ideas.

Best lyrics:
Find some understanding for
Those who can't hope for more
Know just what they're standing for,
Be someone who's standing for
Take a knee on the floor
Know just what you're standing for

No. 4 “Rue” by girl in red

My wife put me on to girl in red. She threw on one of her EPs when we were on a road trip. Her brand of indie-bedroom-pop reminded me almost immediately of Metric. Her soft vocal delivery reminded me of Emily Haynes.  Which, far as I’m concerned, is a big compliment. It’s soft and comforting and manages to be both haunting and haunted.

girl in red, whose real name is Marie Ulven, hails from Oslo, Norway. She’s also only 22 and has been writing and producing some killer songs since she was a teenager. The instrumentation often mixes acoustic guitars and electronic music. “Rue” is a single for her upcoming album If I Could Make it Go Quiet (April 2021). It’s a good example of how a lot of her music feels musically and thematically. Also, the way the song pauses with a fake-out end before hitting hard once more at minute three is pretty damn impactful. Especially when coupled with the music video.

Lyrically a lot of her songs are about homosexuality and depression because, well, she’s a lesbian who lives with depression. “Rue” also explores a lot of these themes. Especially the depression. I would say that the general interpretation of the song is that it’s about how someone helping her through her depression is giving her the resolve to continue living after a failed suicide attempt. The suicide attempt being called to mind by the opening lines “You found me when I thought I was dying.” The resolve to get better comes from the chorus, which repeats the line, “Don’t want to make it worse/I’m gonna make it work.” However, throughout the song, there is an underlying sense of doubt. Which is always true of depression. But the fact that the outro of the song is “I tried”...tried...as in past tense? A number of other lines in the song are in the past tense. “I could never be saved.” Think about that a second. Past tense. That hits, man. That hits.

Best lyric:
I hate the way my brain is wired
Can't trust my mind, it's such a liar
Believe me when I say
I can't carry the weight

No. 3 “Ain’t Nice” by Viagra Boys

“Sweden” isn’t typically the first country that comes to mind when one thinks of punk bands. Most would probably conjure up England. I’d even argue with that. However, it’s the same country that gave us the Hives. And in the last half-decade, the famously neutral country has also bequeathed to us Viagra Boys.

Although, they have little in common with their garage-influenced fellow countrymen.  Viagra Boys call to mind late-80s/early-90s post-punk bands like Jesus Lizard. A lot of that comes from the scuzzy vibes and dark humor of the lyrics. “Ain’t Nice” exemplifies everything that makes this band what it is. Vocalist Sebastian Murphy’s vocals range from deadpan to unhinged. And the bass walks along like a drunk stumbling down the street. Which is probably why that’s what most of the music video is. It’s definitely scumbag strutting music. And the sax-solo towards the end is slightly out of key in the best possible way as it jerks and squeaks through the bridge. It’s fun, it’s funny and it’s worth cranking as you do a funny little walk down the street with a bit too much swagger in your saunter. “Ain’t Nice” was released in late 2020 as a single for the 2021 album Welfare Jazz.

Best lyrics:
You ain't that nice, but you got a nice face
Hope I can fit all my shit at your place
Got a collection of vintage calculators
If you don't like it, well babe, I'll see you later
Ain't nice
It ain't nice

No 2.  “Aries” by Gorillaz (ft. Peter Hook and Georgia)

I’ve always been a fan of bands that do whatever they feel like. If they feel like doing a punk song, they do a punk song. If they feel like rapping, they rap. When they want to do synth-pop, they’ll do that too. Gorlliaz has been keeping this up for twenty years. Of course, they’re cartoon characters, so it’s easy to do. Especially when a large number of your tracks are collaborations with other artists. Artists include de La Soul, Lou Reed, Snoop Dog, Elton John, and Peter Hook, just to name a few.

“Aries” features Peter Hook from Joy Division and New Order, both highly influential bands. Across his projects and collaborations, Peter Hook has developed a very unique style of playing bass guitar. It’s so unique that when you hear a Peter Hook bass line, you know it’s a Peter Hook bass line.

Hook joins Gorillaz’s frontman, “2-D” (who is actually Damon Albarn of Blur), for a song that’s melancholy in tone. Hook’s dreamlike bass work mixes well with 2-D’s sorrowful vocals. During the pandemic, Gorlliaz had been releasing a song and video roughly once per month. So, it makes sense that the song itself has a tone of loneliness, isolation, and uncertainty about the future. This is exactly what all of us were feeling when the track dropped back in April.

Best lyrics:
I'm standing on a beach in the distance
And even though you're far away, can you see my red light?
It's waiting to turn green
'Cause I feel so isolated without you
I can't play a happy tune on my own, so stay by my side
High or low tide

No. 1 : “We Live Here” by Bob Vylan

My number one song of the year is “We Live Here” by Bob Vylan. The song, like a lot of Bobby Vylan’s work, is a mix of rap and punk. He’s as much influenced by Dead Kennedys as he is by DMX. “We Live Here” leans more to the punk side of things musically but has a rap-esc rhythmic speaking when it comes to the vocals. 

It’s a straight banger, with lyrics that are both deeply personal and highly political as Bobby addresses the racism that he faced growing up as well as referencing the murder of Stephen Lawernce, a hate crime that turned the UK on its head. He uses the n-word a lot in this track. But each time it’s in the context of being called one. Bobby Vylan, himself, is mixed race. His mother is white, while he is light-skinned but visibly black. Because of his appearance, he has been told to “go back to his own country” despite the fact he was born and raised in England. We didn’t appear out of thin air, he screams with rage during the chorus, we live here!

While Bob Vylan is based in England, and the song is about his experiences there, it feels equally relevant in the US. Especially with the protests for racial equality that happened in the wake of George Floyd’s murder at the hands of a cop. So, it is really appropriate that the video dropped in March of 2020, with the album following in June.

Best lyrics:
Neighbors call me n****
Told me ‘go back to my own country’
Said ‘since we arrived, things have so ugly’
But this my f****ing country
And it’s never been f***ing lovely

Brooklyn Nine-Nine final season predictions (and a few spin-off pitches)

February 13, 2021

It’s official. Season eight of Brooklyn Nine-Nine will be its last. Which makes sense, I suppose. Given recent events, the cultural climate isn’t quite right for a cop comedy. However, these characters are so beloved that they do deserve a proper send-off that is true to the growth and development they’ve made over the last seven years. I have some predictions of where this will go and some ideas have spin-off potential. Some of these pitches would depend on who they can get back and who wants to move on to other projects.

There is no doubt in my mind that season eight will address the summer 2020 protests over the murder of George Floyd and others. The show has taken on hot-button issues before and they’ve done it with amazing levels of grace and insight without sacrificing humor. The season four episode “Moo-Moo” took on racial profiling in a plot that had Terry Jeffords, himself a cop and a sergeant at the time, being racially profiled at the end of his own driveway by a uniformed officer. Season six’s “He Said, She Said” took on sexual harassment and #MeToo when Jake and Amy investigate an assault charge against a woman who was defending herself against the unwanted sexual advances of a male co-worker. “Show Me Going”, from season five, is a bottle episode that talks about the stress and anxiety of an active shooter situation without even showing the active shooter situation. Rosa responds to the call, forcing her friends to wait it out and see if she comes out of it okay.  Each episode contains some of the show’s most poignant moments and received praise because of how they handled each of these sensitive topics with the perfect blend of humanity and humor. So yeah, taking on police brutality is in their wheelhouse and the characters have proven to be thoughtful and emotionally intelligent enough to be impacted by the events and reflect on what roles they may have played in a broken system.

So, here’s what I think will happen. The detectives at the Nine-Nine will find themselves geared up and in the midst of the protests. These characters, being who they are, will feel extremely conflicted about it, perhaps even harboring various doubts going into it. As was seen on the news, some officers took a knee in a show of solidarity with the protestors. Hell, some even threw down their gear and peacefully joined a march. These real-world examples are reflective of the types of cops these characters have proven to be. It’s idealistic, sure, but it’s more than a little likely the Nine-Nine would have been among the police officers that, at the very least, took a knee.

NYC Officers take a knee in solidarity with protestors. May 31, 2020
Credit: PIX11 News

In the show, this will likely be spearheaded by Sergeant Terry Jeffords or Captain Holt, at least among the members of the Nine-Nine. I was thinking Jake, and that’s possible, but I feel the characters even more likely to feel conflicted are the two African American men. My money is on Terry Jeffords, now a lieutenant, given that he was a victim of racial profiling in the aforementioned “Moo Moo” episode. He will see himself in George Floyd more than anybody. As a result of their protest, the characters will likely land themselves in hot water with the higher-ups. They’ve definitely taken flack from the top brass in the past for doing the right thing. Like sensitive issues, this story beat is not unexplored territory. The characters, having once again been betrayed by the very system they’ve sworn to uphold, will have finally hit their breaking point and quit the force. For the characters’ journey to ring true, I think they’d quit as opposed to getting fired. For a redemption arc to work, refusing to be complicit in a system they now see as broken should be their choice.

The question, then, is what will these characters do with themselves after? I think the season will dedicate the first few episodes to the events inspired by the George Floyd protests and the aftermath. The rest of the season will focus on the characters picking up the pieces after losing something they dedicated their lives to. Fans will want to see them dust themselves off and have some hope for their futures. The series can’t just end with Jake and the gang losing everything. That would be a downer ending that is way outside the show’s tone. The way I see it, there are a few possibilities of where to go.

One possibility is the entirety of the Nine-Nine goes into business together as private investigators. Jake would geek out over his new Sam Spade-like job and Rosa would be a natural fit for PI stories. She basically seems like she’s stepped out of a modern-day film noir as it is. Amy would likely get off on the business end of things and it would be fun to watch her juggling both some kind of administrative leadership role and still taking on cases. After all, she loves organization and would do well in an admin job, but her desire to also solve cases could make for a character appropriate arc. This could result in a spin-off that solves the problem of it being a “cop show”, but more or less keeps the dynamic of the show the same. Not much else would need to change. It also carries on what really made the show work and has improved it the more it’s progressed, which is that it is an ensemble comedy that gave most of the characters equal billing. This, of course, would require getting most of the cast back.

The PI angle could also work if only a limited number of people return. I like the idea of Jake Peralta: PI. Other characters that would fit into the dynamic are, again, Rosa and Amy. The idea of Jake and Amy doing a husband/wife PI team a la The Thin Man could be fun. Rosa seems like she would be game to partner up with them. 

Jake and Amy. NBC Universal

Or Rosa could even branch off on her own spin-off in something akin to The Equalizer, which itself has just been rebooted on CBS with Queen Latifah in the main role. A show like that with a Lantix LBGTQ+ actor and character in the main role would be pretty damn cool. I mean, I’d watch it. A badass former detective that marginalized people can turn to when they can’t go to the police and whose own intersectionality includes at least three marginalized groups. Hell yeah. Maybe her new girlfriend has a lot of money and resources and is philanthropic and helps fund Rosa’s efforts as an underground “fixer.” All three of of these have some really cool spin-off potential.

Rosa Diaz. NBC Universal

The sadder option is that the back half of the season becomes a coda that simply plays out the Nine-Nine as they move on. The back half of the season would serve as a reminder that their stories together are over, as often happens when people come in and out of our lives, while still establishing that these characters we’ve come to love are going to be okay by letting us know a little about what their post-Nine-Nine lives will be like. Here’s what I think can and should happen to these characters as they bow out and start new chapters of their lives.

Scully and Hitchcock retire. They pool their money and invest in a Wing Sluts franchise in a tropical location and live out the rest of their lives in lazy, hedonistic bliss.

Hitchcock and Scully. NBC Universal

Charles Boyle follows his other dream, becomes a chef, and opens his own restaurant. He also winds up catering events for art shows curated by his partner Genevieve.

Charles Boyle. NBC Universal

Terry Jeffords, who has been repeatedly established as a talented artist, winds up getting an art show after Charle’s partner Genevieve sees some of his work. The show is successful and Terry becomes a successful artist and an in-demand illustrator for children’s books.  It would play into both his talent for art and his tender side.

Terry Jeffrods. NBC Universal

Jake, Amy, and Rosa would likely go into private investigation work or some Equalizer-esque thing in the case of Rosa. I stand by those ideas whether spin-offs come from them or not. Maybe an episode or two could serve as a backdoor pilot, but either way, I feel that is the next logical step for these characters.

Raymond Holt, I see becoming a professor at Columbia alongside his husband, Kevin. It makes sense as he’s proven to possess a genius-level intellect in multiple topics. This could play out in one of two ways. One is that he starts teaching criminal justice in an attempt to right the wrongs by educating future generations of law enforcers. Or he teaches a completely unrelated topic, commenting, “I could always fall back on my Ph.D. in statistics.”
“You have a Ph.D. in Statistics?!” Jake or someone could say.
“Yes. I have several Ph.D.’s,” Holt might say, before rattling off a list of three or four more subjects. Cue an “Oh, mama,” from Amy.
“How did we not know about this!?” a perplexed Jake would exclaim.
“You never asked,” Holt would say with a dry tone and a shrug as Rosa nods her approval of the secrecy. 

Raymond Holt. NBC Universal

I have really grown to love these characters. This show is my The Office (although so is Community, Arrested Development, and, um The Office). I can throw it on in the background or rewatch it time and time again. It’s comforting. I get that it’s no longer the right political climate for a cop comedy. Besides, eight seasons is a fantastic run and, with few expectations, is an ideal place for a series to stop. I just want NBC to send these characters off right.

Also, those are some pretty cool spin-off ideas, right? NBC? Huh? Yeah…?
Contact info’s in the left-hand menu, NBC. 
Your ball.

James Gunn, redemption, and the statute of limitations on tasteless jokes

July 24th, 2018

I don't usually follow celebrity news. I don't care what celebrity is breaking up with or dating whatever other celebrity. Although, I occasionally follow entertainment news. You know, who is working on what movie and stuff like that. So, for those that don't even follow that, one story that's been of interest to me lately is Disney firing James Gunn from Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 3 because Mike Cerovich, a conservative blogger, dug up some decade-old tweets Gunn had made that joked about pedophilia, 9/11, and rape. One such joke was: "The best thing about being raped is when you’re done being raped and it’s like ‘whew this feels great, not being raped!'” Which, I think, is a pretty clear tongue-in-cheek way of saying, "There's nothing good about rape." But, rape jokes in an of themselves are problematic enough for some. Although it should be noted that some, far more recent tweets of Cernovich's include: "Date rape does not exist. " and "Have you guys ever tried ‘raping’ a girl without using force? Try it. It’s basically impossible,” So he's not exactly the good guy here. At all. In any way shape or form.

Now, Cerovich's whole angle was an attempt to point out liberal hypocrisy. If a conservative like, say, Roseanne Barr is going to be fired for a tweet, the same standard should be held for liberals like Gunn. Okay. That's fair. But the Barr/Gunn comparison falls apart for a few reasons.
1) Barr's tweet was a couple months ago. Not 8-10 years ago.
2) He'd apologized, grown, and actually apparently been supportive of causes for victims of the type of stuff he'd made tasteless, tongue-in-cheek jokes about. Rossane's most recent response was "I thought the bitch was white."

Another point Cerovich tried to clumsily make is how is this different than Trump's "Grab 'em by the pussy" comment from 10 years ago being unearthed? Well, for one, Trump didn't apologize. He made excuses, "It was just locker room talk." Melania said Billy Bush goaded him into saying it. (He wants us to believe that he can stand up to dictators like Putin and Kim, but he can't handle Billy Bush?). Add to that the fact that around the time that cropped up his defense against sexual assault accusations was that he'd never do that to those women because they were too ugly shows that he hasn't realized his mistakes or grown as a person in those 10 years. He's still very much the same man who brags about pussy grabbing.

So the question I keep asking myself is: "What is the statute of limitations on bad jokes?" Comedy is hard. Edgy comedy is harder because no one agrees on where the edge is. Art and comedy are learning processes to be sure. So is the message we want to be sending "Never fuck up ever. Mistakes are unacceptable. Missteps will not be tolerated. You aren't allowed to grow or learn or change. Who you are now is who you will always be seen as. You mess up in anyway whatsoever it will destroy you ten years later."

I propose that no. No. That's not the message we want to send. I don't think art or comedy should always be played safe either. Lest we ruin what makes them special in the first place.

Now I have played with edgy humor in the past. If you were connected to Drake University between the years of 2004-2007, this is well documented. It's a fine line to walk, mocking the perpetrators of horrible acts. Sometimes the line between a joke about racists and a racist joke isn't as clear to others as it is to the one writing it. It's not a tight-rope you're going to walk across on your first try. The stuff we create when developing our craft won't be perfect and will be rife with missteps.

That said, I think forgiveness is contingent upon recognition of those missteps and showing you've grown as a person. Gunn appears to have done that. Barr and Trump have not.

Top 5 Anti-War Songs

December 27, 2017

I’ve never been the “pro-war” type. I think there’s only been once or twice when it was truly justified (World War II, for example). And it’s always controversial.  As well it should be. But with growing tensions around the world due to a hawkish president throwing hissy fits over everything, it’s obviously been on my mind a lot, causing me to reflect on some of my favrotie anti-war tunes.

1. “Too Many Puppies” by Primus (1990)

This is an intense, heavy, freight train of a song. It’s chugging base line has the rhythm of marching feet, for obvious reasons. It’s a real “pump you up” kind of song. The type of shit you can lift weights to. But for all of its feeling of masculine aggression the song has a pacifist message to it. Now just what in the hell do “puppies” have to do with war? Let’s take a look at some lyrics. Here’s the second verse:

Too many puppies are taught to heel
Too many puppies are trained to kill
On the command of men wearing money belts
That buy mistresses sleek animal pelts

“Puppies”, in this case, is obviously referring to soldiers. In particular the ages of soldiers, especially enlisted soldiers, whose ages are often between 18 and 20. You’ve heard the expression “dogs of war”? This song turns that phrase on its head by calling them “puppies”. Puppies are young, impressionable, and easy to train. The song is about how young men are sent to die for the benefits of the wealthy. It’s about the loss of innocence, and how the “men” being sent to fight and die “for their country” are, in the grand scheme of things, still just kids. And what they're fighting for is really more about lining pockets than protecting freedom.

And if that doesn’t drive the point home, the music video is a teenager in a diaper getting his head shaved in a plain white room and then acting more and more animalistic. They’re not even being subtle about it.

2. “Hell Broke Luce” by Tom Waits (2011)

Poetic as usual, Tom Waits’ criticism of war focuses on the impact going to war has on a soldier’s thought process. The lyrics and music call to mind a cadence, each verse describing a horror witnessed and experienced during war. The dissonance of the music adds to the song’s central theme: PTSD. It talks about losing ones hearing because of a bomb, a friend forgetting to put on kevlar, and digging graves. It also delves into the impact of returning home, alludes to drug abuse and self medication, and being forgotten by the politicians who started the war and have used it to boost their own status.

One of the coolest elements of this song is the word play. The narrator is having independent thoughts, thinking about home and such, but a “connecting word” brings them right back into the war, and a mentality of following orders.. The opening line of the song, for example:

I had a good home but I left
I had a good home but I left, right, left

A later verse does a similar play:

Can I go home in March?
 March!

Every time they think about home, their mind is brought right back into the war. The thought process of who they were before the war is constantly interrupted by the “following orders” mindset. Another aspect the song focuses on is trying to come to grips with who you are after going to war, because it’s often not the same person you were before.

What did you do before the war?
I was a chef, I was a chef
What was your name?
It was Geoff, Geoff

The fact that these lines are in the past tense is devastating. Especially the second stanza. “What was your name?” Fucking brutal. “What did you do? What was your name?” This about coming to terms with what you’ve seen and what you’ve done, and trying to come to terms with how much those have changed you. Are you even the same person anymore? And what does the president give them in return? A fucking parade.

3. “Let’s Go” by Ministry (2007)

This song is… damn. It’s a bit different in that, unlike the other entries so far, it’s extremely tongue-in-cheek. It’s fast, intense, driving industrial metal. It’s a soundtrack for a killing spree; the type of song you might hear in the background of an ultraviolent action scene. Just hearing the song without listening or taking lyrics at face value you’d never guess it was an anti-war song. “Let’s Go” is the opening track off 2007’s The Last Sucker. The entire album was a savage criticism of the Bush administration in general. So there’s a lot to choose from on this album, and that larger context of the album’s concept makes it more obvious that the song is ironic. Also how over the top the lyrics get should be a bit of a clue. Such as:

Let's go for the final attack
Let's go for a war in Iraq
Let's go for starting up World War III

Also, unlike the rest so far, this mentions a specific war. But what the song is about is the general concept of dehumanizing the enemy and, in the process, one’s self. The song’s refrain “Let’s go insane” is about disconnecting from the logical mind, cutting loose, and cutting the enemy down.

The lyrics take the point of view of soldiers pumping themselves up before battle. It starts off basic enough. “Let’s go faster” “Let’s go at ramming speed.” But it escalate until it gets so intense it even makes me blush:

I mean, look at the third, and final verse. Jesus Christ:

Let's go for the ultimate crime
Let's go for the end of time
Let's go for an ethnic cleansing spree
Let's go for the final battle
Let's slaughter them all like cattle
Let's go to our graves in victory

I mean, goddamn, is that brutal or what? The reference especially to “slaughtering them like cattle”  shows directly that in war people stop seeing the other side as human. In this case, cattle. Animals. Not just animals but “cattle;” which has a very specific connotation: mindless animals whose purpose is to die. There’s few words that can be applied to other living things that is a detaching as “cattle”. When we stop seeing others as human, we stop being human ourselves.

4.”Let Them Eat War”  by Bad Religion (2004)

The always political Bad Religion also released this song during the Bush administration. It shouldn’t be surprising that some of my favorite anti-war songs were written about wars that occurred during my lifetime. This song stands out from the previous two entries by focusing on the homefront and the reasons for going to war, more than the experiences and mentalities of soldiers. This is more about the citizens. The song suggest that the reasons a government goes to war has more to do with distracting citizens, than protecting them from anything.

From the force to the union shops
The war economy is making new jobs
But the people who benefit most
Are breaking bread with their benevolent hosts
We never stole from the rich to give to the poor
All we ever gave to them was a war
And a foreign enemy to deplore
Let them eat war
Let them eat war
 That's how to ration the poor

The song talks about problems at home. Jobs, income inequality, and a government bowing to lobbyists. So a country goes to war to give the people “a foreigner enemy to deplore” to keep them from fighting or rising up against the enemies at home, or even focusing on domestic issues. It’s a strategy right out of 1984. With America’s wealth inequality being larger than France’s in 1776, when they revolted for pretty much that reason, and tensions with North Korea escalating, this song is as relevant in 2017 as it was in 2004. But even if you go back to well before the song was written, or hear it in another 50 or 100 years, it will still have a point. War is a shiny object, it is misdirection.

5. “What’s Going On?” by Marvin Gaye (1971)  

This song stands out in several ways from the rest on the list. Other than being a soul/motown number on a list of mostly hard rock and punk songs. The song focuses on the anti-war movement itself, and the impact war has on families. And while the other songs are about how awful war is, this song actually pleads for peace.

Father, Father
We don’t have to escalate
You see, war is not the answer
For only love can conquer hate

So that’s pretty straight forward. I don’t think those second two stanzas need further analysis. However, those first two lines stand out. Throughout the song there are numerous references to family.

Mother, Mother
There’s too many of you cryin’
Brother, brother
There’s far too many of you dyin’

The first line obviously conjures the image of mothers who have lost their sons to war. But the use of “brother” in this case, doesn’t at all suggest a biological “brother.” Since it’s a song by a black artist in 1971, some might conjecture that he means “fellow black man.” However, I posit that he means everybody. “My fellow man.” Everyone is his brother. We’re all human, we’re all connected. We are all brothers and sisters to one another. The “father” he implores not to escalate, is also not biological. It refers to someone in a position of power, the ones who make the decisions to go to war. But, again, he sees everyone as essentially being family. Because if everyone sees each other as family, it brings about the love needed to conquer hate.

The song also references picket lines and long hair, obviously referring to the hippy movement at the time. So, rather than being about the horrors of war, or the manipulative reasons people go to war, or the psychological impact it has one those who fight it, this song talks about the war at home. Not just the mothers weeping, but the fight for peace by the anti-war movement.

One Last Meal

December 8, 2017

For the last three and a half years I’ve fronted a punk band called Food for Worms. And while I had always had starting a band while in Korea at the back on my head it took me about a year to finally start doing something with that idea. I was galvanized by a show that I saw on April 12, 2014 at Jeng-iy, a dive-bar with a stage that hosted live music in Daegu, South Korea. The line up featured Dead Gakkahs, Colours, and Genius. And I want to say The Plastic Kiz.

By that summer I had a band, and we had some songs. But this isn’t about the history. That’s another story for another day. This is a sentimental rant about how fucking much this has meant to me. And while I’m trying to swear less, I don’t think I can accurately reflect the importance of this band in my life without the use of casual swearing.

And tomorrow (Dec. 9th, 2017) we play our last show. We’ll spend the afternoon in the studio recording one last EP to be released posthumously, then take the stage at Club SHARP around 10pm. People often say “I promised myself I wouldn’t cry.” But I make no such promises.

Michael, Paul, Stephen, and Yu-Shin have become brothers to me. And there’s not much I wouldn’t do for any of them. There’s something about creating things with people that bonds you to them. As a writer I’ve worked mostly on individual projects. So my creative life, in the past, has been a lonely one. And other than the handful of times I’ve done theater, I’ve haven’t done much with collaborative creativity. But creating these songs, and putting on shows and working in a medium of artistic expression that I never have before has been amazingly enriching, and I couldn’t have been more fortunate than to have worked with these guys. The process was always one of encouragement and collaboration. It was always about how can we make this song better. There was never a real sense of fighting over creative control. It wasn’t a group of people working towards one person’s “vision” or any of that. I’ve read a lot of rock bios and band histories over the last few years and I realize, looking back on the last few years and realized that a Food for Worms biography would be a really boring read. And I don’t see that as a bad thing at all. There was never any major drama. There were no scandals. Nothing to tarnish it.

Through being a band frontman I gained a long dormant confidence. Although, I do sometimes feel like very much a different person on stage, almost to a disembodying degree,I never played a character. It wasn’t a performance so much as unleashing another part of myself, and letting that run wild. I’ve often said, “This isn’t a hobby. This is therapy.” and it’s done more for my mental health than counseling or SSRIs ever could.

I lost count of how many shows we did. But I loved every one of ‘em. There’s ones were were were on fire, and ones where we were a bit off. There were ones where I was sloppy drunk, and other where I was stone sober, but each time I was intoxicated. Fueled by whiskey, espresso, and carbohydrates.

BoJack and Buddhism

August 28, 2017

A few quick disclaimers. I am not a Buddhist scholar. I had taken a few classes on Asian Philosophy in college and I read a few articles in putting this together. So this is simply my dilettante interpretation of some of the concepts. I’d be interested to hear from people who know more. Also [Spoiler Alert]. I use plot points up to the end of season 3 as examples.

NetFlix

The Netflix series BoJack Horseman is a rare thing indeed. It’s an animated comedy that manages to take an unflinching look at depression. It has been called “one of the most accurate portrayals of depression on television.” And it’s definitely up there. The most brutal bits revolve around the recognition that something is wrong with you. That your way of seeing things is hazed over and that your actions resulting from this often negatively impact others around you. What hits hardest is the very real moments of falling back into these habits. It’s a cycle that’s Herculean to break, and the show nails this home with intense accuracy.

But, whether or not they intended to do so the show has also become a great depiction of numerous Buddhist principles. Particularly the first three of the Four Noble Truths.

1. All life is suffering.

2. Suffering is caused by desire.

3. Eliminate desire and you eliminate suffering.

The notion of desire is a constant theme from the outset. Three of the show’s central characters: BoJack, Diane, and Princess Carolyn are all searching for things that will make them happy. However, this keeps causing them more pain. They are of the mindset that “once I do this, I will be happy, once I get that I will be happy.” And as long as they have that mindset they never will be. Todd and Mr. Peanutbutter, however, are examples of how one can be happy if one is willing to let go.

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BoJack starts off the series wanting to release a memoir “so people will love me again.” So right off the bat, he is displaying one of the three types of desire (taṇhā). This is an example of bhava-taṇhā Which can be translated “as a craving for being.” This type of desire can be related to a number of ambitions. BoJack believes that once this book comes out, he will be loved, and he will be remembered. In his book An Introduction to Buddhism: Teachings, History and Practices Peter Harvey states that bhava-taṇhā is ego related. And much of BoJack’s arc is related to ego. We see this again in season two as he is filming Secretariat. “This movie will come out, and people will love me again.” And again in season three, “If I win this Oscar I will be loved” and “people will remember me.”  “Once this book comes out, I will be happy.” “Once this movie comes out, I will be happy.” “Once I have an Oscar, I will be happy.” He is constantly of the mindset, “Once this happens, I will be happy.” In the later episodes of season 2, we see BoJack display another type of desire. After breaking under the pressure of the film he runs off to New Mexico, and considers never going back to L.A. and just living a simple life in New Mexico. This can be seen as vibhava-taṇhā, a craving for not-being. Harvey describes this as a desire to rid oneself of unpleasant things (people, or situations) in one’s current and future life. This can take the form of suicide, self-destruction, or in this example: shucking off one’s responsibilities and fleeing.  It can also be seen as a desire to not desire, which itself is a form of desire. BoJack also, arguably, makes several attempts at suicide in season three. Backing his car into the pool, or stepping on the gas and letting go of the wheel towards the end of episode 12. Both of these can also be considered a form of vibhava-taṇhā. As these desires fail him BoJack also constantly displays kama-taṇhā. Which is the desire for sensual pleasure. BoJack’s kama-taṇhā seems to stem from his other desires. He seeks to fill the void with booze, sex, drugs, and food. The throwaway line “I ordered a few feel-better-pizzas to feel better. It did not work.” actually speaks volumes.  These are desires he knows he can achieve, but are ultimately self-destructive or damaging to those around him, even resulting in the death of his friend and former co-star Sarah-Lynn. All of BoJack’s desires, however, are invariably connected. His bhava-taṇhā and disillusionment stemming from it leads him to both vibhava-taṇhā and kama-taṇhā. Because as stated by Venerable Pannyavaro in his article “Three Kinds of Desire” these “are merely convenient ways of contemplating desire. They are not totally separate forms of desire but different aspects of it.” BoJack’s kama-taṇhā can be a form of his vibhava-taṇhā. This theme is solidified when Diane expresses concern for BoJack upon his (mistaken) Oscar nomination announcement. “I know how this kind of thing can sometimes send you spinning. ‘Oh, God, why doesn’t this make me happy? Will anything ever make me happy? I’m an empty husk!’” Diane touches on the fallacy of things making us happy. But she’s still not immune herself.

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Diane Nguyen isn’t quite the mess that BoJack is, but she displays both bhava-taṇhā and vibhava-taṇhā through the series. Particularly in seasons two and three. Diane’s story arc also revolves heavily around a kind of bhava-taṇhā. Diane is a highly idealistic individual and she is extremely principled. As a result, she is extremely hard on herself. Unlike BoJack her bhava-taṇhā is not concerned with being loved, but rather living up to an overly-idealized version of herself. Her pursuits are largely noble. Particularly in season two when she takes on Hank Hippopopalous, a popular figure in Hollywood who has seemingly been given a free pass on the numerous allegations of sexual assault and misconduct leveled against him. Obviously, what is most prominent in people’s minds is the Bill Cosby scandal, but this is a frequent issue in Hollywood. Diane’s desire is not a destructive one, it is incredibly noble. But she is constantly being told to “let it go.” BoJack tells her this because he knows it is a losing battle, her own husband Mr. Peanutbutter works for the same TV network as Hippopopalous and his own career could be damaged if Hippopopalous were to fall from grace. Diane’s story displays that even noble desires lead to difficult and painful situations. She also shows that desire is not bad, in and of itself. She desires the world to be better, she desires justice for the victims of a powerful man. However, this is difficult, it is a struggle and she suffers in the sense that she even receives threats from Hippopopalous’s fans. Ultimately she fails in her attempts, encouraging her to travel to the war-torn country of Cordovia to cover a billionaire store owner/philanthropist named Sebastian St. Cloud and his aide efforts. Again, she is driven by a desire to help, a desire for purpose, and again this can be seen as bhava-taṇhā. But after witnessing extreme suffering such as sick and dying children, bombs killing innocent people, and realizing that St. Cloud is making his philanthropic efforts all about him rather than the people he claims to help, she realizes she cannot handle it, and she quits. She has come to realize that someone she admired is not the person she thought they were and, more importantly, she is not the person she thought she was. It is a rough moment when we realize we are not as strong as we think we are. And her disillusionment with herself leads her to pursue vibhava-taṇhā. She comes home, hides out at BoJack’s house, and doesn’t change out of her pajamas. She sleeps all day and watches TV, lies to her husband about her whereabouts, and even suggests an idea for a phone app that “can undo long amounts of time. Three months. A year. A life.” This “app idea” is vibhava-taṇhā in a proverbial nutshell.

Like Diane, Princess Carolyn displays bhava-taṇhā and vibhava-taṇhā, albeit in different ways than Diane or BoJack. Princess Carolyn has always wanted a family. Something she has constantly put on hold for the sake of her career as a Hollywood agent. She feels that “Once she has a family, she will be happy.” This is her bhava-taṇhā. When BoJack breaks her heart, yet again, she gives herself a pep talk:  

You gotta get your shit together. So yesterday you let yourself fall in love a little bit and you got your heart broken. Serves you right for having feelings. Starting now you are a hard, heartless, career gal. Go to work, be awesome at it, and don’t waste time on foolish flights of fancy. From now on, you are a robot. Beep bop boop blerp bleep.

One could argue that Princess Carolyn shutting herself off emotionally and escaping into her work is a form of vibhava-taṇhā. She does not want to experience unpleasant things and desires an escape through her work. These desires are not separate from one another and desires are not one type or another.  This same intermingling can be seen in her desire to take care of others because, by her own admission, she is unable to take care of herself.

All three of these characters are very intelligent but are deeply unhappy. They all desire some kind of control. Whether it’s over others’ opinion of them, like BoJack; trying to make the world better, like Diane; or even over their own emotions, like Princess Carolyn; these desires are the driving forces behind the drama in their lives. BoJack cannot make other people like him, Diane cannot make other people better, and  Princess Carolyn cannot make her own problems go away by projecting. These three display the suffering as described in the first two Noble Truths.

The two characters that contrast this are Todd Chavez and Mr. Peanutbutter. While both depicted as considerably more simple-minded than the three other central characters, they also are both shown as being considerably happier. This is because both characters are able to let go in ways that BoJack, Diane, and P.C. are not. Todd and Mr. Peanutbutter display examples of the Third Noble Truth. One example of Todd embracing this can be seen in the episode “Downer Ending” (S01E11). Todd had realized BoJack sabotaged Todd’s rock opera, derailing his life’s dream. Todd tells BoJack:

As you know, I was hurt. But, then I realized that’s just how you are. Maybe I should just stop expecting you to be a good person, so that way I won’t get hurt when you’re not.

Todd has acknowledged he had a desire, not just for the rock opera but for BoJack to be a good person, he acknowledges that the desire, or expectation, caused him pain. He has more or less forgiven his friend and decided to accept that his friend will not always live up to his expectations. He elects to accept BoJack as he is, and knows that he should not desire BoJack to be something that he isn’t. Todd realizes his hurt comes from his disappointment in having placed expectations and desires on someone else. BoJack treated Todd poorly. However, at that moment Todd recognizes that he is not in control of BoJack’s actions, BoJack is. As Venerable Pannyavaro puts it “We can allow desire to be the way it is and so begin to let go of it. Desire has power over us and deludes us only as long as we grasp it, believe in it, and react to it.” Todd allows things to be as they are (or let BoJack be as he is) and chooses to control his reactions. In a different article, this one on “The Third Noble Truth”, Venerable Pannyavaro directly states that “the whole aim of Buddhist teaching is to develop the reflective mind and let go of delusions.”  And Todd has done exactly this. He reflected on his reaction (hurt), and let go of his delusion (that BoJack is a good person). In a far more lighthearted moment, Todd gets quite the windfall in the form of eight-million dollars when he and Mr. Peanutbutter sell their ride-share company (S03E12). Todd, being Todd, almost immediately loses the money when he accidentally tips the waitress at a diner all eight-million dollars. He immediately shrugs and says, “Well, looks like I’m broke again!” and laughs it off. His ability to so easily let go of this money, added to the fact his only possessions seem to be his clothes and a blanket, suggests that Todd is unattached to material things. It’s funny and played as a joke, but it’s fun to think that Todd, of all people, is the one who actually has it all figured out.

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Mr. Peanutbutter also has moments showing his ability to “let go”, particularly in “Higher Love” (S02E06). He finds himself bankrupt and his agent dies, which puts him in a difficult position. His strategy is to “wander downtown L.A. with an open mind and an empty stomach. I’m just going to go with the flow and leave everything up to destiny. Que sera, quesadilla.”  Mr. Peanutbutter is not fazed by his dire financial situation and he seems to be unknowingly exhibiting elements of Dhamma, the teachings of Buddha. Mr. Peanutbutter does not hate himself for his situation, nor does he panic. He approaches the situation calmly, whether or not this is just because he’s an idiot is not the point. Because of his relaxed mind, he walks down the street, lands a job at a women’s shoe store and because of his theatric salesmanship he gets a gig hosting a highly successful game show. In this case his gains are material, which isn’t always the case, but his attitude of “going with the flow” and “what will be will be” certainly seems to be the key to his happiness.

At one point in the series the character Cuddlywhiskers, BoJack’s former writing partner/producer on a failed show, directly tells BoJack and Diane the key to happiness, saying:

I’m happy, for the first time in my life. And I’m not going to feel bad about it. It takes a long time to realize how miserable you truly are, and even longer to see that it doesn’t have to be that way. Only after you give up everything, can you begin to find a way to be happy.

Cuddlywhiskers advice stands not only as a foil to Diane and BoJack’s lives, but also succinctly summarizes the first Three Noble Truths. He talks about realizing that you are miserable (existence is suffering), realizing that it doesn’t have to be that way (recognizing the cause of suffering, desire), and that giving up everything is actually how you become happy (eliminate desire and you eliminate suffering). BoJack and Diane, confronted with this, are clearly made uncomfortable. They seem to recognize that Cuddlywhiskers is right, but are not ready to accept it.

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So not only can BoJack Horseman be seen as an accurate portrayal of depression, it depicts the damaging nature of desire, and the joy in letting go. The characters in the show that are the least happy, the ones that seem to be suffering the most are the ones with a variety of desires. BoJack, Diane, and Princess Carolyn’s issues are prime examples of the Second Noble Truth. The characters that are willing to let go of expectations are happier, and much more easy going. What’s interesting about this is that the characters who are the least happy are also the ones considered most intelligent, and the happier characters are seen, largely, as doofuses. The “intelligent” characters are constantly analyzing themselves and others, and are concerned with not being seen as foolish. Whereas the “doofus” characters just accept themselves and others for who they are and accept their situations. They are unconcerned and all the better for it. Todd and Mr. Peanutbutter just live in the moment. Because that’s all they know they have.

There is a moment in season 3 where BoJack finally realizes certain truths. When he recognizes his desires and reflects on their impact. Although it is quickly followed by tragedy. But it’s a good note to end on. While looking at a presentation in a planetarium the narrator states that “our lives are but the briefest of flashes in a universe that is billions of years old.” To which BoJack turns to his friend:

See? We're not doomed. In the great grand scheme of things, we're just tiny specks that will one day be forgotten. So it doesn't matter what we did in the past or how we'll be remembered, the only thing that matters is right now, this moment. This one spectacular moment we are sharing together.

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Getting into "Get Out"

May 22, 2017

Blumhouse Productions, 2017

Get Out is a horror film (more of a psychological thriller, really) written and directed by Jordan Peele of Key & Peele fame.  So when word got out that one of the minds behind the viral "Substitute Teacher" sketch had made a horror film I was intrigued. When I saw the trailer I was enthralled. It looked legitimately terrifying. And, like any good horror film, it looked rife with social commentary. Chris (Daniel Kaluuya), a young black man, goes to the suburbs to meet his white girlfriend's family and stumbles into what appears to a Stepford Wives situation for black people. This film only came out in South Korea on May 18th, a couple months after its US release. I was surprised and delighted that it came out here, because I figured the concept of race relations in the US suburbs would go over the head of your average South Korean (my girlfriend, who is Korean, confirmed this suspicion).  So the heavy hitting social commentary would be lost.

Much of the humor on the sketch comedy show Key & Peele is a play on race relations. Whether it's a black substitute teacher mispronouncing white kid's names (as someone who has worked as a substitute teaching at a high school that was 51% black this is hilarious and tragically relatable) or the concept of Barack Obama having an "anger translator", the awkwardness between white people and black people is played for laughs. So, in a way, Get Out is commenting on the same things. Only instead of having a laugh at the absurdity, it creates tension by showing the undercurrent of menace below the surface of awkward interaction. 

That's where this movie largely shines. It builds and maintains tension. While most horror films these days rely on gore, torture, and jump scares for their thrills Get Out creates a feeling of discomfort and tension throughout the film that becomes Kafkaesque. Seemingly innocuous questions like, "Do you golf, Chris?" are laced with menace and at first it's unclear why. Lines like "I just love Tiger Woods." are painfully awkward. In their attempts to appear not racist, the white characters only appear more racist. Chris's interactions with the local black people are even more unnerving. Their eyes belie their poised and overly polite speech. Part of the tension stems from the fact something is happening that you can't quite put your finger on, the other tension comes from how relatable that tension is. These types of encounters are very much a reality to African-Americans. 

Blumhouse Productions, 2017

So what is this movie trying to say exactly? I'm white, but I grew up in a relatively diverse suburban area. My school was pretty much half white and half black. So while I can't relate to the black experience, still much of this movie hits home. I have witnessed and overheard the type of racism the movie presents. It's not as overt as n-words and cross burnings. It's the type of racism that's so subtle people don't notice it or acknowledge it unless it's happening to them. The concept is obvious from the trailer which shows something to do with hypnotism, and creepily "docile" black people. Basically, the type of racism on display here is this: It's not about caring about the color of someone's skin, it's about disregarding or having contempt for their cultural identity. "I don't care if a person's skin is black, as long as they don't 'act black'." And this type of attitude is overt in the US suburbs. It's not black skin these people take issue with, it's "blackness."

One thing I kept in mind the whole time is that Jordan Peele is married to Chelsea Peretti (Brooklyn Nine-Nine), who is white. So, I'm left to wonder if he had a rough one the first time she brought him home. I mean, they did elope.

Vulture, 2016

The Last of Us

The Last of Us is what happens when the Uncharted series mixes with Resident Evil 4. Like Uncharted it combines polished gameplay with a cinematic feel that makes it as interesting to just sit and watch as it is to play. Like RE4 it's a 3rd person survival horror (even a similar camera angle) where you have to spend a large chunk of time escorting another character. Unlike Ashley in RE4, however, Ellie isn't useless and annoying. Ashley shouts “Leon!” because she needs you to help her, but when Ellie screams “Joel!” it's because she's coming to help you. She saved my bacon a few times.

The Last of Us really excels in story. I don't play as many games as I once did. I've neither the time nor the money. But as a writer they interest me as a medium for storytelling. Which The Last of Us knocks out of the effing park. The story opens on the night of a mysterious zombie-like outbreak which we see through the eyes of Sarah (a girl around 13 years old) and her father Joel, but quickly flashes 20 years later. Joel has been working as a smuggler, a series of circumstances forces him to escort a 14 year old girl name Ellie who is looking for a group called “The Fireflies.” The game follows them through a year as they trek cross country trying to find the mysterious organization. The story is very episodic, which is how it's intended to be, and divided up into seasons (Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring). However, where it really hits the mark is the bond that develops between the characters and making them feel very real. After a few hours playing I would do anything for that little girl. Which is a good thing, because I had to. The game is packed with emotional moments. When the characters are separated there is a sense of anxiety that had me up until 3am until the characters were reunited. The top notch voice acting helps sell the story, and cinemas use the same motion capture acting as Uncharted. I've said this about movies and I've said it about books, but I really can't think of a time I've said it about a game but... have some tissues handy. If you don't get misty in those opening minutes I might have to question the existence of your soul. It's brutal.

Gameplay wise it shines as well. Unlike Uncharted it's much more stealth based. Much like Dead Space it's very stingy about ammunition. Every single shot needs to count, and guns should be used sparingly, since they just draw unwanted attention. I'd get pissed every time I missed a shot because I'd searched a building for five minutes to find that bullet. It's much more efficient to sneak up and strangle or simply use a brick as a melee weapon. If I could have done one thing different I would have had them space out the checkpoints more. They're very close together, and sometimes it robs you of a sense of tension. But other times I was glad for it, so it hardly registers as a proper complaint.

It's a must for PS3 owners and, arguably, a reason to buy one even at the end of the system's life. The Last of Us is easily one of this generation's best games and makes a helluva swan song for the console.

10 Reasons Patti Smith Has Still Got It

May 6th, 2013

I had the opportunity tonight to see Patti Smith, the Godmother of Punk herself, at the Vic Theatre in Chicago tonight (May 6, 2013) and she did not disappoint. She's definitely still got it. And here's ten reasons why:

1. She's got the coy and charming smile of a teenage girl.

2. She feeds off the love of the audience and gives it back just as sincerely.

3. She fucking swears a whole fucking lot. Seriously. Holy shit.

4. A heckler shouted out that it was their birthday. So Patti Smith and her band sang "Happy Birthday" to the "Dear Unknown Interrupting Stranger." 

5. Since she was born on Chicago's north west side she told the story of her birth. (Which involves a snow storm, a 4 day steam bath, and Logan Square)

6.  She braided her own hair while singing at one point.

7. Her life affirming, philosophical rants. "Our enemies!?? What the fuck is an enemy!?! We're all human beings!"

8.  She made self-deprecating comments about why she doesn't plug in her own guitar, "Because I can't. I'm afraid of being electrocuted. I don't even plug in my own toaster. I hire a cockney maid to do it..."

9. She did so DEEP cuts. Especially during the encore.

10. By the end she was elated. "What's wrong with me? I'm HAPPY!"

Good night, Chicago!

You Should Be Listening To: Murder By Death

​     Murder By Death has been consistently one of my favorite bands since my good friend Amanda Clifford introduced me to them back in 2003. Their sound has changed a little over the last 13 years. Hell, listen to their first album Like The Exorcist With More Breakdancing (2000) and then 2008's Red of Tooth and Claw and you'd take some convincing it's the same singer. But it is. Frontman Adam Turla just has that much range.

     It's tricky to pigeon hole them into a genre. Not that I'd want to. But the best way to describe them is “Johnny Cash composing the soundtrack for a gothic horror spaghetti western.” Gothabilly? Some songs are hauntingly beautiful (“Intergalactic Menopause,” “Lost River”) while others could be the background music for a bar fight (“Comin' Home”, “Brother” which features a bar fight in the video) Turla's baritone is such a dead ringer for Cash it's nigh on unsettling. I've played “Shiola” from In Bocca Al Lupo (2006) for people and had them convinced it was an unreleased Johnny Cash song. It's not just Turla's vocals. The song structure and lyrical style are unquestionably a nod to The Man in Black.

     A central element to the MBD sound other than Turla's voice and hollow body guitar is the mind and heart shaking cello courtesy of Sarah Balliet. It ties the whole thing together and brings a gothy element to the alt-country/rockabilly core and makes it something truly unique. It's mesmerizing to watch her play live. Seriously, if I die I want to come back as Sarah Balliet's cello.

     Murder By Death has a few concept albums under their belts. Their sophomore release Who Will Survive, and What will Be Left of Them? (taking its name from the tag-line for Texas Chainsaw Massacre) tells the tale of the Devil unleashing his vengeful wrath on a small town in Mexico after being shot in a bar fight. He lights the desert on fire, turns children into zombies, and lets loose his minions upon the townsfolk who try to rally to fight him off. In Bocca Al Lupo is a sort of modern day Dante’s Inferno and consists of multiple stories about the sinners in the various circles of Hell. Sticking with the ancient literature theme,  Red of Tooth and Claw is a retelling of The Odyssey. Only the protagonist is a vile son of a bitch journeying home from his nasty, evil business.

     The band self-produced and funded their most recent album Bitter Drink, Bitter Moon through Kickstarter, a fundraising website that lets the person or group offer incentives to donators in the form of increasing awesome prizes based on the amount donated. If you donated a certain amount of money you could submit a request for them to cover a song of your choosing and record it. It took them a while to obtain the rights, learn them and record them. But the result of this labor of love finally launched last week. As You Wish: The Kickstarter Covers features 15 tracks from a wide variety of artists ranging from Elliot Smith to Motorhead. From Kenny Rogers and The First Edition to The Misfits. There’s two schools of thoughts on cover versions. There’s the “Spot On School” and the “Reworked to the Band’s Unique Style School.” As You Wish is the latter. Which I tend to prefer. Spot on ones are better reserved for cover bands, as opposed to bands with over a decade’s worth of original material and an established unique sound. The variety here is wild. Other than the ones mentioned before Louis Armstrong, Murder City Devils, INXS and even more get the MBD treatment here. They even somehow manage to make Elliot Smith’s wrist-cutting “Needle in the Hay” more dark and depressing. While the Murder City Devils really emphasize the organ on “Rum to Whiskey” Murder by Death replaces it with their signature cello. Turla’s smooth, deep baritone is so starkly different from Spencer Moody’s raspy, swaggering growl it’s a bit striking at first, but great nonetheless. And being about whiskey, it’s far from outside Murder by Death’s wheelhouse (whiskey and devils are kind of reoccurring themes). Armstrong’s beloved “What a Wonderful World” sounds like musings from a death bed and should put a lump in even the most guarded of throats. It’s a bandcamp exclusive. So rush over to http://murderbydeath.bandcamp.com/ and drop the $10. It’s really a helluva deal for 15 tracks.

     After over a decade on the scene playing small to mid-level venues (and numerous street festivals) they’ve never quite found mainstream success (I guess gothic-rockabilly-Americana just isn’t what the kids are listening to these days). But they’ve developed a dedicated fan base, of which I am a happy ass member. As well as a reputation of being one of the friendliest bands to tour with. And as Adam Turla said at the Do Division Fest in Chicago (June 1012) they’ve finally reached a point where they can make a living just playing music. It’s not a rockstar life style. But it’s enough to be living the dream.

Check out www.murderbydeath.com now. Thank me later.